Star Spangled Spatula

Ever since I can remember I have been staining myself. My mother has always been quick to point this out. Thanks Ma. From the grass stained knees on my school clothes to the red Italian gravy stain on my confirmation tie to the brown coffee stain on the cuff of my new, white dress shirt, she catches them all. Hello, Lid Bib. Technically a reshaped paper towel with a strategically placed hole in it. The Lid Bib is not the most low profile solution to a drippy coffee cup but, based on the number of used Starbuck’s napkins I find in my coat pocket, an effective one.

You’ve been at home for nearly a year now. You’ve learned how to properly stock a pantry. You honed those knife skills. You’ve tackled even the most complicated of mid-week entrees. There’s only one place you have left to go besides starting a livestock farm. And that’s, dry age meat. Forget about clicking below, for a move as epic as this you need an 800 number. Grab that smart phone, remember where the keypad is and +1-844-7DR-YAGE. That’s right 1-8-4-4-7-D-R-Y-A-G-E and get ready to accept delivery of your very own dry aging machine. The team at DryAger made it simple. Two models, Large and Small. Two levels, personal and professional. Let’s stick with personal for our first buy. The DryAger UX500 is about the size of your college dorm fridge but makes much more than cold bed water and a place to keep your bong. Set up is a breeze just pop out that under used wine refrigerator (you have a wine cellar now right?) and slide in the Dry Ager. Of course this isn’t just an old school aging machine there’s state-of-the-art technology involved, ohh and a smart phone integration of course. How it works is explained in incredible detail with visuals worth checking out so you can educate your friends when you stand around it gloating. By know you probably guessed this was the inspiration of a passionate German hunter and refrigeration engineer. We know, you are drooling but have so many questions. We did too and most are answered here. Now after you hang up with Bavaria you are going to need to decide what your first aged items will be. Game, beef, pork, there are so many options. Don’t worry, once you are hooked you can upgrade to the 1000lbs model. Time for that kitchen renovation.

For years hydroponics has carried a stigma associated with your sophomore roommate’s
cannabis closet experiment. On the contrary, hydroponics have been in play with far more practical benefits for some time. Ever have a juicy, red tomato in January? Yeah, that’s most likely the hydroponics. The Monsanto issues aside, Futurefarms Spacepot Hydroponic Grow System brings the benefits of nutrient rich water growing science to your kitchen countertop. The beautiful, sleek system boasts the ability for a simple three step path to delicious, hearty plants in just 5 weeks. The crew is a collaboration of scientists, creators and makers in California who are on a mission to bring hydroponics into our homes to improve our well-being and lifestyle. In our case that’s perpetuating the Italian-American stereotype with fresh basil all winter long. And hey, your college roommate might actually get another swing at the bat this time as a culinary herb dealer.

It’s PIZZA WEEK here at FTHQ. This is one we have been jonezing for for quite a while. The Gozney Dome brings pro level operations and modernized old school aesthetics to your back yard. Their first move into this space was a few years back with the Roccbox. The Dome up levels what they achieved in Roccbox with more cooking space, a steam injector for baking, easy wood to gas fuel switching all while maintaining that near 1000 degree temperature. Plus, just staring at it when not in use is a gaping drool fest. You know we like beautiful things that are also super functional. No surprise we already belabored this point thrice. The price tag is a bit hefty but if you consider the $10,000+ pro oven cost you are staring down a bargain. Spring is around the corner. Vaccination availability seems to be picking up pace. There will be a group of backyard revelers stopping over sooner than you may think. Plus, we don’t have much to talk about these days as quarantine pretty much shut down all out good answers to “Hey, So, what’s up?” Think about the monologue you can go off on when this is propped up on a throne-like your backyard queen.