Youz talking to me? is what you say at your next picnic when asked to pass the ketchup. How do you not want a condiment gun? There’s not much about this one that needs explanation. Just make sure you keep it holstered when the kids are around.
More Gear Stuff
There is nothing we like more than a felt bomb pop except, maybe, a real bomb pop. Even though the 1980’s term for the best ice cream man treat of all time is not politically correct anymore, we still love Land of Nod‘s whimsical take on the rolling ice cream truck treat selection. Felt or not, these 100% wool delectables might just get a test lick if put in the wrong hands. That would be our hands. A great gift for your kids to start prepping their entrepreneurial spirit. Who knows next summer they might invent the next Chipwich.
It’s safe to say coffee culture is a habit rivaling the crack epidemic of the 90’s. A harsh but not accidental comparison. We dubbed it “New Joe City”. Playing the finest supply and demand game, The Barisieur Brewing Alarm Clock wakes you up with a beep and an olfactory, pavlovian trigger known as warm caffeine. Disguised in a gorgeous and meticulously crafted wood exoskeleton, a series of modern electronics and intricate micro-plumbing converge to deliver a morning kickstart like none other. Originally a crowdfunding idea by designer Joshua Renouf, this alarm clock concept launched his design company Barisieur. In his words, the studio is a brand driven by design, experience and exceptional quality. Currently the coffee clock is the companies only product but we’d guess they have other lines in the works. A toothbrush that makes you a breakfast burrito OR a wind-proof umbrella that calls you an uber would be a nice next move. Just sayin’.
The Mellow sous vide machine is aiming to do what the microwave did for home kitchens in 1967. Although, in 2016, there’s a whole different science and aesthetic at play. As a big fan of temperature fixed circulated water machines Mellow is the Cadillac of the recent immersion circulators boom. The upgrade, Mellow keeps your vacuum sealed dinner chilled by enabling the machine to hold the water at both cold and hot temperatures. A couple hours before your dinner time, Mellow heats up and finishes your meal. The beauty of Mellow even makes this minimalistic, bare kitchen counter kid contemplate an artistic and functional residency in my apartment. Let’s not forget, anything sous vide tastes amazing.
You’ve been at home for nearly a year now. You’ve learned how to properly stock a pantry. You honed those knife skills. You’ve tackled even the most complicated of mid-week entrees. There’s only one place you have left to go besides starting a livestock farm. And that’s, dry age meat. Forget about clicking below, for a move as epic as this you need an 800 number. Grab that smart phone, remember where the keypad is and +1-844-7DR-YAGE. That’s right 1-8-4-4-7-D-R-Y-A-G-E and get ready to accept delivery of your very own dry aging machine. The team at DryAger made it simple. Two models, Large and Small. Two levels, personal and professional. Let’s stick with personal for our first buy. The DryAger UX500 is about the size of your college dorm fridge but makes much more than cold bed water and a place to keep your bong. Set up is a breeze just pop out that under used wine refrigerator (you have a wine cellar now right?) and slide in the Dry Ager. Of course this isn’t just an old school aging machine there’s state-of-the-art technology involved, ohh and a smart phone integration of course. How it works is explained in incredible detail with visuals worth checking out so you can educate your friends when you stand around it gloating. By know you probably guessed this was the inspiration of a passionate German hunter and refrigeration engineer. We know, you are drooling but have so many questions. We did too and most are answered here. Now after you hang up with Bavaria you are going to need to decide what your first aged items will be. Game, beef, pork, there are so many options. Don’t worry, once you are hooked you can upgrade to the 1000lbs model. Time for that kitchen renovation.