Condiment Gun

You’ve been at home for nearly a year now. You’ve learned how to properly stock a pantry. You honed those knife skills. You’ve tackled even the most complicated of mid-week entrees. There’s only one place you have left to go besides starting a livestock farm. And that’s, dry age meat. Forget about clicking below, for a move as epic as this you need an 800 number. Grab that smart phone, remember where the keypad is and +1-844-7DR-YAGE. That’s right 1-8-4-4-7-D-R-Y-A-G-E and get ready to accept delivery of your very own dry aging machine. The team at DryAger made it simple. Two models, Large and Small. Two levels, personal and professional. Let’s stick with personal for our first buy. The DryAger UX500 is about the size of your college dorm fridge but makes much more than cold bed water and a place to keep your bong. Set up is a breeze just pop out that under used wine refrigerator (you have a wine cellar now right?) and slide in the Dry Ager. Of course this isn’t just an old school aging machine there’s state-of-the-art technology involved, ohh and a smart phone integration of course. How it works is explained in incredible detail with visuals worth checking out so you can educate your friends when you stand around it gloating. By know you probably guessed this was the inspiration of a passionate German hunter and refrigeration engineer. We know, you are drooling but have so many questions. We did too and most are answered here. Now after you hang up with Bavaria you are going to need to decide what your first aged items will be. Game, beef, pork, there are so many options. Don’t worry, once you are hooked you can upgrade to the 1000lbs model. Time for that kitchen renovation.

The Mellow sous vide machine is aiming to do what the microwave did for home kitchens in 1967. Although, in 2016, there’s a whole different science and aesthetic at play. As a big fan of temperature fixed circulated water machines Mellow is the Cadillac of the recent immersion circulators boom. The upgrade, Mellow keeps your vacuum sealed dinner chilled by enabling the machine to hold the water at both cold and hot temperatures. A couple hours before your dinner time, Mellow heats up and finishes your meal. The beauty of Mellow even makes this minimalistic, bare kitchen counter kid contemplate an artistic and functional residency in my apartment. Let’s not forget, anything sous vide tastes amazing.

Here at FTHQ we love “clever innovation”. Kicking off our run up to St. Patrick’s Day, we thought you should know about the Whiskey Wedge. Whether it’s 15 minute drink preparation at your local bar OR you just think you’d look good with a waxed mustache, the craft cocktailing craze will eventually push you to try your hand behind the bar at home. Just like the smoke machines, obscure herbs and fire coaxed citrus oils add some drama to the mixology show, this ice wedge will wow any house guest at your next cocktail party. Prepare a day ahead and spend the rest of your time perfecting that rollie fingers.

If the war on terror was fought by the Kardashian’s in TAO and fueled by Moët & Chandon. An army of Champagne Gun toting, dark haired woman would be deployed across Las Vegas’ Day clubs, New York luxury hotel penthouse lounges and LA superclubs with the directive to bubblify anyone not conforming to the rules of engagement. Those rules being straight up #YOLO. The weapon has three modes. Neutral mode, when it’s loaded but appears to be a champagne bottle stand. Pour mode, used in keeping everyones flutes filled so there isn’t any FOMO moments. Lastly, spray mode, which is usually engaged when you win the Daytona 500, debut your latest hip hop single or work late at your job in a prosecco bottling plant. Although, It’s my guess that this spray mode will keep us regular folks engaged until the case of cava ammunition runs out. It’s got to be a blast. Literally.