If the war on terror was fought by the Kardashian’s in TAO and fueled by Moët & Chandon. An army of Champagne Gun toting, dark haired woman would be deployed across Las Vegas’ Day clubs, New York luxury hotel penthouse lounges and LA superclubs with the directive to bubblify anyone not conforming to the rules of engagement. Those rules being straight up #YOLO. The weapon has three modes. Neutral mode, when it’s loaded but appears to be a champagne bottle stand. Pour mode, used in keeping everyones flutes filled so there isn’t any FOMO moments. Lastly, spray mode, which is usually engaged when you win the Daytona 500, debut your latest hip hop single or work late at your job in a prosecco bottling plant. Although, It’s my guess that this spray mode will keep us regular folks engaged until the case of cava ammunition runs out. It’s got to be a blast. Literally.
More Gear Stuff
Mellow Sous Vide Machine
The Mellow sous vide machine is aiming to do what the microwave did for home kitchens in 1967. Although, in 2016, there’s a whole different science and aesthetic at play. As a big fan of temperature fixed circulated water machines Mellow is the Cadillac of the recent immersion circulators boom. The upgrade, Mellow keeps your vacuum sealed dinner chilled by enabling the machine to hold the water at both cold and hot temperatures. A couple hours before your dinner time, Mellow heats up and finishes your meal. The beauty of Mellow even makes this minimalistic, bare kitchen counter kid contemplate an artistic and functional residency in my apartment. Let’s not forget, anything sous vide tastes amazing.
Balmuda Toaster
Let’s face it, we’ve all been making, or trying to make, a lot of bread. In San Francisco they are taping sourdough starter to street poles. No lie. This apocalypse looks different to us in so many ways but never did we think baking would be at the epicenter of a lockdown. Enter the Balmuda Toaster or oven or steamer. Yeah, we’re not sure either but it definitely makes you look amazing when toasting up a slice of that aforementioned sourdough. Brass tacks, this Japanese designed feat-of-engineering has possibly taken our most mundane cooking task and up-leveled it with some NASA grade innovation. A water port allows you to fill a steam reservoir inside the toaster’s Ferrari grade heater core. This steam cloud envelops your bread allowing a faster, crisp without drying out. Now that the moisture is sealed in your slice, the steam dissipates and the heat fires up a second time. This result is a pillowy soft inside with a crisp, golden, toasted bark of tasty. Need more. Gen Terao, the CEO, built in several other settings for bread baking and high heat if you want to go full oven. A simple knob with pictures of bread styles leaves little room for error, unlike your sourdough process. With a black or white option it will compliment any kitchen and frankly out shine anything else in it including you. Save up your shekels though, performance and beauty like this come at a cost. We hope you are getting great at baking because you might not be able to afford store bought bread for a while after Balmuda ownership. Don’t sweat it, we think we’re spending 2020 at home anyway.
ColdSnap invents the Keurig of Ice Cream
It’s been a long week of zoom calls, home school disasters and Amazon delivery thefts. You go to reach for the corkscrew only to remember it’s still Dry January. A quick rummage through the panty is a reminder you finished the gummy bears and the Chips Ahoy went stale. A freezer burned teaspoon of Chunky Monkey sits lonely at the bottom of a dilapidated pint container. Worthless. For a second you think you remember how to make a cake. Then you also remember the time and effort even the quickest of Betty Crocker box mix entails. Enter the Keurig of ice cream to literally and figuratively cool your frantic, throttled up jets. Coldsnap is a countertop soft serve machine that takes meer minutes to produce a sweet, fresh, creamy antidote to your week of woes. Debuted at CES just weeks ago, the dessert gods have delivered everything but a link to purchase. Seems like it’s still in production. Coldsnap peeps made this cute little video to build the anticipation further. They say it should be shipping soon. Until then you’re stuck with Cookie Puss for a few more months.
Futurefarms Grow System
For years hydroponics has carried a stigma associated with your sophomore roommate’s
cannabis closet experiment. On the contrary, hydroponics have been in play with far more practical benefits for some time. Ever have a juicy, red tomato in January? Yeah, that’s most likely the hydroponics. The Monsanto issues aside, Futurefarms Spacepot Hydroponic Grow System brings the benefits of nutrient rich water growing science to your kitchen countertop. The beautiful, sleek system boasts the ability for a simple three step path to delicious, hearty plants in just 5 weeks. The crew is a collaboration of scientists, creators and makers in California who are on a mission to bring hydroponics into our homes to improve our well-being and lifestyle. In our case that’s perpetuating the Italian-American stereotype with fresh basil all winter long. And hey, your college roommate might actually get another swing at the bat this time as a culinary herb dealer.