So you’re hungry and want tacos for dinner, huh? In the great, ancient tradition of hungry-people-eating-food-they-want-to-eat-in-order-to-become-less-hungry, you’ve got a few go-to options: go out, order in, or even cook to get what you so desire. The only problem? Those options require effort. Be honest with yourself: do you really feel like putting in that kind of work? Especially when eating tacos is supposed to be one of the most effortless culinary experiences of all time. But what’s a hungry taco lover to do? What about ‘no pain, no gain,’ you wonder? The answer is in this revolutionary, (practically) effortless alternative to your average, everyday taco-procurement strategies. We’re talking about the “You Better Have Tacos” doormat, and we urge you to lay that bad boy outside your door and wait for the cha-ching, cha-ching — I mean crinkle, crinkle — of an endless supply our fave member of the no-utensil food group, brought to you by your friends, neighbors, and anyone else who should pass through your threshold. It’s so simple, you may weep. So convenient, you may never leave your place again. So foolproof…well we think that it maybe, probably, most likely will work. But if for whatever reason it doesn’t, well then at at least you’ve got a good place to wipe off your shoes — you know, in case you gotta go out for tacos in the rain.
More Gear Stuff
If the war on terror was fought by the Kardashian’s in TAO and fueled by Moët & Chandon. An army of Champagne Gun toting, dark haired woman would be deployed across Las Vegas’ Day clubs, New York luxury hotel penthouse lounges and LA superclubs with the directive to bubblify anyone not conforming to the rules of engagement. Those rules being straight up #YOLO. The weapon has three modes. Neutral mode, when it’s loaded but appears to be a champagne bottle stand. Pour mode, used in keeping everyones flutes filled so there isn’t any FOMO moments. Lastly, spray mode, which is usually engaged when you win the Daytona 500, debut your latest hip hop single or work late at your job in a prosecco bottling plant. Although, It’s my guess that this spray mode will keep us regular folks engaged until the case of cava ammunition runs out. It’s got to be a blast. Literally.
You needed this yesterday morning. Maybe the most complicated breakfast gadget ever, the PancakeBot is a robot mashed up with an electric griddle holding a squeeze bottle of batter controlled by your computer. I’ll give you a Monday morning minute to let that seep in. Miguel Valenzuela, who’s Norwegian (go figure), dreamt of a “Pancake Machine” and with the curiosity of his daughter and eventual help from StoreBound it’s now his reality and our breakfast bounty. Getting started is easier than you might think with downloadable designs that range from Snoop Dogg to the Poo Emoji to Jesus. All seemingly appropriate for a Sunday morning.
Let’s face it, we’ve all been making, or trying to make, a lot of bread. In San Francisco they are taping sourdough starter to street poles. No lie. This apocalypse looks different to us in so many ways but never did we think baking would be at the epicenter of a lockdown. Enter the Balmuda Toaster or oven or steamer. Yeah, we’re not sure either but it definitely makes you look amazing when toasting up a slice of that aforementioned sourdough. Brass tacks, this Japanese designed feat-of-engineering has possibly taken our most mundane cooking task and up-leveled it with some NASA grade innovation. A water port allows you to fill a steam reservoir inside the toaster’s Ferrari grade heater core. This steam cloud envelops your bread allowing a faster, crisp without drying out. Now that the moisture is sealed in your slice, the steam dissipates and the heat fires up a second time. This result is a pillowy soft inside with a crisp, golden, toasted bark of tasty. Need more. Gen Terao, the CEO, built in several other settings for bread baking and high heat if you want to go full oven. A simple knob with pictures of bread styles leaves little room for error, unlike your sourdough process. With a black or white option it will compliment any kitchen and frankly out shine anything else in it including you. Save up your shekels though, performance and beauty like this come at a cost. We hope you are getting great at baking because you might not be able to afford store bought bread for a while after Balmuda ownership. Don’t sweat it, we think we’re spending 2020 at home anyway.