Bello Limoncello

They had us at Murder Your Thirst. At first look Liquid Death Mountain Water seems like Johnny Rotten and Gwyneth Paltrow had an illegitimate tall boy. That still might be largely true but on second glance this is an anarchist’s letter to the perfectly pinkified, millennial, wellness, team member walking through Nomad sipping a CBD infused, Cha Cha Macha in their Sweaty Betty bottoms and color matched Lulu top post Pure Barre class on their way to a M N D F L session. We’re not hating, just maybe a little overtired of the strict, gentrified urban experience that’s all too polished around our office these days. People still work in factories. They still triple shift to feed their kids. They still fall off the wagon, smoke two packs of reds and show up for their 8am shift with their brain beating out of their skull. That is not to say that there’s not a middle ground to those two humans. It is to say, everyone needs to hydrate. That’s where Liquid Death Mountain Water levels the playing field with a beverage design that is as sensational as the people behind it. Every part of the experience has been carefully and perfectly thought through. You want to join the mailing list, no problem, just sign a contract to sell your soul. Not kidding. You want to know “About” why they created it? A word perfect description and philosophy explains everything including their intention to take their healthy water brand and help fund weird art, music, and entertainment that big corporate brands rarely will. They even made a righteous animated explainer video and then this fantastic PSA. As if all that was not enough for you to get on board the death hydration train and order up a case immediately, they even tweaked the “email sign up” toggle button in checkout to read; “I’d like to stay in the loop on news and special offers, just don’t bombard me with stupid bullsh*t”. There’s not much more for us to outline here except to hit their home page and click their FUCK YES buy button. Aces to the Liquid Death crew for this masterpiece.

We missed Christmas with this one but figured it’s not too late to give ourselves a new years gift. The GrowlerWerks uKeg fixes a whole bunch of problems for us with the new beerland mania. We’re those peeps who like to sip at our craft beers over a week or two not guzzle them in a race to beat the carbonation monster. This has resulted in us dabbling in far less bespoke beer than we have access to. Especially now that we are in the Queens epicenter of beer making this beautiful growler system discovery will really change the game for us. Although it comes in two finishes, the copper is by far the more elegant and pish-posh of the two elevating not only the taste but the “I am a serious, dope-AF, beer dude” persona. We like that. Plus, makes the wife love to pour from it as well. They have a real hard time not playing with copper and gold finished objects these days. We’re going to put this thing through the paces at Queens Brewery and Finback for the new year and report back. (On the IG) Happy New Beer squad.

Keeping with this weeks theme, next St. Patrick’s Day be prepared with your own craft brew. The Craft Beer Brewing Kit gives you step-by-step directions how to get the hoppiest, grapefruit infused, saison your tongue has ever tasted. Ok, that’s actually an impossible beer. You’ll have to pick one style for each batch. Choose from a dozen types from Hefeweizen to IPA to Irish Stout and in about 2 weeks time you’ll have your own craft brew ready to drink.

Finally there’s a companion for my stadium buddy. For those tough times when you need to fake out the cops, security, your parents or your wife, Lolo Lids has you covered. Literally. Disguised as a bad airport kiosk coffee you’re left to meander the streets, stadium or floors in Bloomingdales while nipping on your favorite carbonated beverage. Masquerading as a hot cup of java, your beer (let’s be honest, that’s what we’re talking about here) will help you avoid the sneers and jeers of grimace faced citizens on that 11am furniture fabric selection appointment. We don’t mean to sound so jaded or alcoholic about things. We’re just saying, sometimes you have to do something boring and sipping a drink can make it a little better.