The Microfarm

Takenaka makes lunch boxes in the Japaneseist of Japanese ways, the Bento. What we know as the quick, little-of-everything, menu item on a Sushi restaurants midtown lunch special is a physical item in every Japanese citizens backpack. In a world where we’re continually evolving our healthy eating game, these Takenaka lunch boxes make carrying your homemade healthy snacks convenient and simultaniously mega stylish. Next time you pull up a seat at the communal table watch the envy sweep across your coworkers faces when you pull out this beauty. We just hope what you put inside is as impressive as the outside.

If the war on terror was fought by the Kardashian’s in TAO and fueled by Moët & Chandon. An army of Champagne Gun toting, dark haired woman would be deployed across Las Vegas’ Day clubs, New York luxury hotel penthouse lounges and LA superclubs with the directive to bubblify anyone not conforming to the rules of engagement. Those rules being straight up #YOLO. The weapon has three modes. Neutral mode, when it’s loaded but appears to be a champagne bottle stand. Pour mode, used in keeping everyones flutes filled so there isn’t any FOMO moments. Lastly, spray mode, which is usually engaged when you win the Daytona 500, debut your latest hip hop single or work late at your job in a prosecco bottling plant. Although, It’s my guess that this spray mode will keep us regular folks engaged until the case of cava ammunition runs out. It’s got to be a blast. Literally.

There used to just be OREO’s and Hydrox. Now, you can find a new sandwich cookie or product extension every other week. Once you decide which cookie brand is your favorite cheat snack, take the doh! outta dipping (sorry, I used to be an advertising copywriter) and slide it on The Dipr. This is ridiculous but fun. If you have nieces and nephews this makes you super uncle.

Let’s face it, we’ve all been making, or trying to make, a lot of bread. In San Francisco they are taping sourdough starter to street poles. No lie. This apocalypse looks different to us in so many ways but never did we think baking would be at the epicenter of a lockdown. Enter the Balmuda Toaster or oven or steamer. Yeah, we’re not sure either but it definitely makes you look amazing when toasting up a slice of that aforementioned sourdough. Brass tacks, this Japanese designed feat-of-engineering has possibly taken our most mundane cooking task and up-leveled it with some NASA grade innovation. A water port allows you to fill a steam reservoir inside the toaster’s Ferrari grade heater core. This steam cloud envelops your bread allowing a faster, crisp without drying out. Now that the moisture is sealed in your slice, the steam dissipates and the heat fires up a second time. This result is a pillowy soft inside with a crisp, golden, toasted bark of tasty. Need more. Gen Terao, the CEO, built in several other settings for bread baking and high heat if you want to go full oven. A simple knob with pictures of bread styles leaves little room for error, unlike your sourdough process. With a black or white option it will compliment any kitchen and frankly out shine anything else in it including you. Save up your shekels though, performance and beauty like this come at a cost. We hope you are getting great at baking because you might not be able to afford store bought bread for a while after Balmuda ownership. Don’t sweat it, we think we’re spending 2020 at home anyway.