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All cocktail Stuff

Classy AF Cocktails Book

Culture | Books

You don’t have to be Ryan Seacrest to Close 2020 with the Perfect Classy AF Cocktails.

Tonight most celebrate the beginning of a new year. Oddly, I always thought we were celebrating the closing of the previous year. To that end, the close of the notorious 2020 seems like an appropriate moment for my type of celebration. For such a monumental celebration you need to summon the classy AF in all aspects of your evening. That walk from your bedroom to your living room party will be your own personal red carpet tonight. Make sure those sweatpants are bedazzled AF. Hell maybe even throw on that tiara. In addition prepare your imbibe plan appropriately with a Kindle download of the Classy AF Cocktails book. Special attention to the author Calligraphuck. Great name and secret designer/comedian persona. Inside you will find the classics done classy (as the name implies) but the real win is the snarky setups to each drink. Said to celebrate the fine arts of drinking and swearing, the intro paragraphs to each cocktail set the mood with phrases like “When the day hands you your ass” OR “Sure the Cosmo may have fallen out of fashion but it definitely doesn’t have a stick up it’s ass.” This is language we can get behind especially as we bid ado to our the evils of 2020. This falls in line with my 2020 daily rituals of foul mouthed mundane moments like my use of the equally abrasive Carrot weather app. We’re starting with the classiest take out pizza and a Sbagliato, quickly moving on to Negronis and will most likely wake up still holding the remnants of an old fashioned. We hope you have as much revelry as possible shutting down the year that shut us ALL down. See you in 2021 hopefully in a effectively vaccinated, eradicate COVID world.
Tipsy Robot

Drink | Place

Bionic Bomb at Tipsy Robot

F+B robots are coming at us this week like Rosie when George Jetson gets home from work. On the heels of the Creator burger restaurant, Tipsy Robot in Las Vegas (No shock that a grain alcohol, cocktail making, robot lives in the city of sin) will mix a drink you ordered through your other robot, your phone. See what’s happening here? Robot to robot. Of the extensive Vegas curated menu our clear favorite was the Bionic Bomb. This 28oz frozen cocktail starts with some raw white refined sugar in the form of something they call Passion Berry to get you good and wired. Next they up the ante and sugar taste with none other than the grandmomma of flavored vodka, Stoli Razberi. You gotta respect that Z. Remembering this is Vegas the final robotic, precision pour is 4oz of Cruzan 151 Rum to float this fribble and your sobriety to all but a memory. Did we mention it comes in a Tipsy Robot Souvenir Cup? Yeah, that happens. We were curious what, or who really, was behind this autonomous bartender, so we did some digging. Turns out, the Italians. Seriously, The Makr Shakr, as the white label robot is called, was designed by Carlo Ratti Associati out of Torino, Italy, the birthplace of Vermouth for those who are down with the Negroni. Carlo Ratti Associati specializes in design and innovation, and now I guess robotics. Or, maybe, that’s the innovation part. I imagine the teams beta tests were Aperol Spritz’s and Negroni’s instead of the freebase drinks the Tipsy Robot is pouring in Nevada. Jokes aside, this team has created projects like Supermarket of the Future and Paris navigating Gym (a boat that runs on spin cycle bike power) which is to say, some awesome projects. When we realized they weren’t cucks we really started loving what they created regardless of its location or application. Considering all that, maybe one more Bionic Bomb is not a bad idea. That’s either innovation talking or the 151.

bittermilk

Drink | Liquor

Bittermilk No.7 Yuletide Old Fashioned

We’re big fans of things that are born from passion and experience. Bittermilk is such a product. The married founders, Joe and MariElena Raya, have been tweaking on their version of the perfect elixir for years. We love their line “The labor is in the bottle.” This makes everyone an ace bartender by just adding your favorite spirit. That’s something that come sin handy during the holidays. Your “host with the most” status gets dialed up with a Bittermilk secret behind the bar. Try the limited edition No.7 Yuletide Old Fashioned before the seasons all gone.

 

gingeroo

Drink | Liquor

Gingeroo Ready-to-Drink Cocktail

My first brush with this was in a small, craft spirits shop near my house. My father has a penchant for ginger and rum so I thought gifting him a bottle would be thoughtful. The following weekend a text storm from my mother was requesting a case. Some for them. Some for the friends they had over for dinner. Apparently, after decoding iMessage, the four of them were really enjoying the Ready-to-Drink part of Gingeroo. My father later expressed to me, in a way only he can, that every adjective on the bottle was completely true to the product. He emphatically recited those adjectives using his self declared third rule of learning, repetition. Last week we got a little closer to the root of the Gingeroo when we were perusing the New Orleans Whole Foods. The Celebration Distillation, located on Frenchmen Street in New Orleans, is the oldest premium rum distillery in the United States and the nice peeps at Gingeroo welcome pop-ins. With descriptors like refreshing, spicy and delicious, if the folks that make this nectar are as true to the words on their bottle, it’s worth a stop and a sip.