Anthony recently came up with a new category, forking nasty. We have pretty good sniffers and not sos often do we stumble into a situation where the food, drink, service or ambiance stinks so much that it through our olfactory systems into the shop for a tune up. BUT, it does happen. In the case of today’s post, I was in London. The place is know not known for great food to begin with but I have to say its getting better. More on that a post or two from now. Back to the nasty.

It was a long week of work and I was just off a sensory overload in Mumbai. I was heading to the office and needed a nice big bottle of water to get me through the day. Being and Europe, home of the bubbly or flat option, I opted for some lightly carbonated Catalonia water. It was nicely packaged and the description explained how natural, fresh and untouched the water was. The bottling process was clean, ancient and the water came from an out of the way place that sounded exotic. All great. But, as you know, taste (and smell) is what ultimately counts. First swig was nice. But as soon as that bubble H2O passed my esophagus and the air hit the back of my palette I tasted the sea. Yes, the sea. The ocean. The continuous body of salt water that covers 72 percent of the Earth’s surface. Needless to say this did not quench my thirst. But I persevered. “Perhaps its an acquired taste” i thought. A half a bottle later I realized I was wrong. It was an acquired stomach ache. And i have an iron stomach (at least I like to think that). Moral of this post? When buying fancy, foreign water check their salinity levels before purchasing.

I don’t usually write these types of posts but I decided to make an exception today because I have had long relationship with Glaceau as a customer. It started back when I lived in San Francisco with a product they made called Fruit Water. What was amazing about fruit water was that it was so clean and smooth in its taste. It tasted mostly like water but had a lemon, watermelon, grape or peach hint (no reference here to that product:P). It DID NOT have a sugar taste at all. I loved to guzzle a bottle after a bike ride or sitting in the park on a warm day. My point is, I viewed it as water not a fruit drink.

When Vitamin water became VERY popular, part of which was due to their amazing CMO and marketing campaign, Fruit Water almost became extinct. I could no long find it in my supermarket. I spent months finding local distributors that still carried the 4 flavors of Fruit Water along side the almost 20 flavors of Vitamin Water.

Since that time I have moved back to NYC and, more or less, given up on my quest to find Fruit Water. Recently Glaceau has launched a new product called “10″ and it has officially stopped making Fruit Water. Now, I know we are all calorie conscious these days especially as those of us over 30 hear that metabolism grinding to a halt on a daily basis. I thought we could do a little comparison of these three products just for fun.

Let’s start with the facts.

Glaceau Fruit Water:

Ingredients:

Vapor distilled/deionized water, crystalline fructose, citric acid, natural flavor, electrolytes (calcium, lactate, magnesium lactate, monopotassium phosphate)

Nutrition Facts: Calories 20

Serving size: 8 fl oz (240 ml); Amount per serving: 2.5; Calories: 20; Total fat: 0g; Sodium: 0mg; Total carbohydrates: 5g; Sugar 5g; Protein: 0g

Glaceau Vitamin Water: Perform lemon-lime

Ingredients:

Vapor distilled/deionized water, crystalline fructose, citric acid, monopotassium phosphate (electrolyte), natural flavor, magnesium chloride (electrolyte), calcium chloride (electrolyte), ascorbic acid (vitamin C), gum acacia, potassium chloride (electrolyte), ester gum, niacin (B3), pantothenic acid (B5), pyridoxine hydrochloride (B6), cyanocobalamin (B12), pyridoxine hydrochloride (B6), b-carotene (color)

Nutrition Facts: Calories 50

Serving size 8 fl oz; Servings per container: 2.5; Amount per serving: Calories: 50; Total fat: 0mg; Sodium: 0mg; Total carbohydrates: 13g; Sugars: 13g; Protein: 0g; Vitamin C: 40%; Calcium: 4%; Vitamin B3: 20%; Vitamin B6: 20%; Vitamin B12: 20%; Vitamin B5: 20%; Magnesium: 10%; Calcium: 100mg; Magnesium: 100mg; Potassium: 200mg

Glaceau Vitamin Water 10: multi-v lemonade

Ingredients:

reverse osmosis water, crystalline fructose, erythritol, citric acid, natural flavor, calcium lactate gluconate, ascorbic acid (vitamin C), magnesium chloride, gum acacia, rebina, ester gum, zinc picolinate, vitamin E acetate, vitamin A palmitate, monopotassium phosphate, niacin (B3), pantothenic acid (B5), pyridoxine hydrochloride (B6), cyanocobalamin (B12), folic acid

Nutrition Facts: Calories 10

Serving size 8 fl oz; Servings per container: 2.5; Amount per serving: Calories: 10; Total fat: 0mg; Sodium: 0mg; Total carbohydrates: 4g; Sugars: 3g; Protein: 0g; Vitamin A: 10%; Vitamin C: 40%; Calcium: 4%; Vitamin E: 10%; Vitamin B3: 20%; Vitamin B6: 10%; Folic Acid: 15%; Vitamin B12: 10%; Vitamin B5: 10%; Magnesium: 4%; Zinc: 10%;

Now let’s focus on the calories.

Fruit Water(FW) has 20 calories. Vitamin Water(VW) has 50 calories. Vitamin Water 10(VW10) has, well, 10 calories. Keep in mind that, of the three, Fruit Water is the only one that is a clear liquid. Psychology people! Let’s level the field here. To burn off a bottle of FW you would need to fold clothes for 15 minutes. To burn off a bottle of VW you would need to vacuum for 25min. To burn off a bottle of VW10 you would need to sweep for 5 minutes. My point here is that we all do enough in the course of a day to burn off any of these beverages. And my larger point is, with the calorie playing field leveled, what is so great about VW10? Couldn’t we have just kept the clear, hint of flavor Fruit Water I love so much? Alas, another one of my favorite products, along with my Levis flair leg jeans and Citre shine molding clay hair stuff, lays to rest in the mass production boneyard.