Forking Tasty

Give Meat!

Christmas is NOT historically about giving. The modern day Christmas has become a frantic race to buy “crap” for people who you think will by you “crap” before the date reaches an arguably, fictitious, birthday in December. Today’s modern American culture has produced a true Christmas in July. More and more each year I hear that people start shopping for Christmas back in the summer. By comparison, people get engaged after dating for less time, spend less time organizing their finances for their tax return and plan expensive family vacations in a quarter of that time. Add to that fabricated days like “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday” and the frenzy hits pandemonium status. Major big box chain stores open their doors at 4am. Retailers run sales called “door busters”. Really? That passed Kohl’s legal review? Why don’t they just call it “leg breakers” or “throat slashers”. Saving $10 on a $40 toy that will be played with for 5 minutes before your kids attention moves to the next gift hardly seems worth it. But then again, I don’t have kids.

I am sorry about the rant but I wanted to raise an eyebrow or two, make you think a little and set up a solution to this maddening cultural disaster. When, and if (Mom), I do have kids all presents except one will be edible. I wish I could say this practice is in full effect in my family (Thanks Uncle Doug for the awesome iPod alarm clock) but we are getting there. Giving edible gifts solves a few problems. First, it…

7 fish in 7 hours

I know you all understand that Italians eat a lot. I also know you realize that we dial things up during the holidays, particularly Christmas Eve. What I am willing to bet most of you have fell short on is truly understanding the amount of food that gets cooked, served and consumed in the course of one long, over indulgent, hot pan may lay, melted butter tornado of a meal. Some call it the feast of the seven fishes we just call it “the start” because it kicks off a four day eating event that includes Christmas Day, “The Day After” (December 26th) and “The Hangover” (December 27th).

The day is always filled with lots of loud conversation (which can be mistaken for arguing to most outsiders) grabbing at food, over stuffing plates, sugar highs, impromptu menu items and a random nap break. For this post I’ll focus on the food. For those of you wishing to better understand the behavioral dynamics of a dysfunctional, food obsessed family of Italians, leave a comment and we can see if we can help you out Donnie Brasco style. And then…

35th Annual Eating Marathon (aka Christmas)

I can barely move. I am not kidding. For the last 168 hours I have done very little but eat. My goal to eat smart and healthy between Thanksgiving and Christmas succeeded but I find myself asking to what end. Since the 24th I have put an ungodly amount of food down my throat. The best recap would be here. But let’s see if we can do a quick run down below.

12 dozen homemade cookies
11 piping hot side dishes
10 Tiger Shrimps a leaping
9 lobsters dancing
8 made of milk and cream sauces
7 fishes on Christmas eve (look for the post)
6 bone ribeye roast (another post)
5 linguine and clam sauce rings
4 plus 21lbs of turkey bird
3 french garlic breads
2 plates of lobster/crab risotto
1 Cold Stone creamery run

Double Cut Brunch

When I say this was a long time, and talk, coming. I am not kidding. I was in Santa Barbera for my great friends’ wedding. The night I arrived in town I needed some tasty. I was with my work wife Jen, who most of you know. We walked the main drag in SB looking for the right spot. As we passed Pierre Lafond’s Wine Bistro I was drawn in. Then I saw it. On the brunch menu was a double cut pork chop First of all, a pork chop for breakfast is KING. Second, you double cut that and I’ll love faster than Tom Cruise saying “Hello” to a swollen Zellweger. But, I had to postpone the infatuation for 18 hours…

India Speed Round

I have finally caught up on all the India posts. Just in time too, I have so much to share from my Santa Barbera and Austin trips. To close off India I played a sort of “blank” meal game. The four stories below are the outcome of the questions I asked myself about eating in India. I think these questions cover the spiritual, fearful, gastronomical and monumental aspects of my journey.

I asked myself these four questions. I hope you all enjoyed the India fun. Next time you take a trip perhaps you can ask yourself these four questions and let me know your answers. I’d love to hear from you.

1. What’s the memorable meal you had?
2. What’s the calmest meal you had?
3. What’s the riskiest meal you had?
4. What’s the best meal you had?

Ohh…btw… The above pic is of my breakfast teh morning I woke up in Munnar. Fresh idlis with a curry sauce and a coconut chutney. Par for the course by day 12 in India.

Calmest Meal in India

People say India is completely crazy and that it fries your nerves. They are right to an extent. As a New yorker and avid traveler i think I was able to deal with the constant horns, movement, shuffling of people, spitting, cow crossing and blazing sun. But from time to time even I needed a refuge…

Riskiest Meal in India

Munnar is a town that sits high in the mountains surrounded by tea plantations. It had taken me 6 hours to reach it by car. In those 6 hours I had been to an elephant bath, waterfalls and a spice farm. Now I was about to roll the dice…

Milestone Meal in India

You only turn 35 once, so I decided to do it in a palace. I woke up on my 35th birthday on a rice boat in Kerela. By dinner time I had finished a 1 hour boat ride, 2 hour car ride, 1 hour flight and another 4 hour drive to get myself to Mysore. Mysore is in Karnataka and just happens to be Preethi’s Dad’s home town. I came to Mysore mostly because of the market but this added bit of legacy made it even more special…

Best Meal In India

Choosing one “best” meal is very tough, as you could imagine. As we always say on this blog, meals are just as much about where you are and who you’re with than what you are eating. For this post I am going to suppress that thinking just a touch and focus heavily on the food.

Needless to say I ate a lot in India. But, as I recounted the many meals I consumed, one stood out among the rest. Well, three stood out actually. Did you really think I was going to be able to choose just one? My saving grace is…

Market Madness

This video captures the extensive stands and stalls that make up the ubber colorful Mysore Market. I spent 2 days in Mysore sucking up the history, landmarks, architecture and food. The market was the best I found in all of India. By day two I had my chai guy, chalk guy and kitchen utensil vendors calling me by name. A good food market is always at the heart of any great town and this definitely exceeded my expectations.